Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
