New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
