No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
