I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
