I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize