I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
