I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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