Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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