There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize