He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
