fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
