Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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