Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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