My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
