So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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