I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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