I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
