i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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