I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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