Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
