I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
