According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize