Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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