3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
are you so shy because you have an std?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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