it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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