I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
