Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
