dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
