i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Found your dick twin last night
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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