Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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