Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
