Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
