Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
