i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
