Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
