soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
