I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize