I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize