Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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