3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
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