Sacagawea was the original milf.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
