Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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