you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize