just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
