We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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