he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
