She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
