Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize