i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
