at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
