Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
