i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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