just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She is in my trunk
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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