Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
