Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
