If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Success! We fucked roommates!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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