hotel room ftw
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize