I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
