My nipple is on Facebook.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
