I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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