Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
it glows. i had to have it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
