STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
