I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
