Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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