Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
where are you?
Hypothermia
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
