I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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