We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
