drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize