just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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