Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
